


A Puddle of Shame

by ForgottenAngerCourter



Series: "I am an Angel..." [5]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Assault, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29444298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenAngerCourter/pseuds/ForgottenAngerCourter
Summary: “BENDY!”“BENDY SAVE ME!”“PLEASE HELP ME- PLEASE!”Alice wished that her tears could block out her vision. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening…He wasn’t coming. No one was coming.
Relationships: Alice Angel/Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine)
Series: "I am an Angel..." [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1192075
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	A Puddle of Shame

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Description of a violent assault by multiple people.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

Alice stared into the mirror with a blank look on her face as she tongued the gouges in her cheek. They had scabbed over after a few days passed, but the fact that she could now poke her tongue out of her cheek was a strange sensation that she had yet to get used to. 

The shock of seeing her reflection hadn’t dulled yet either- in fact, her heart almost always skipped a beat when she found herself inevitably drawn back to the mirror. 

But Alice found herself feeling more and more detached as she poked and prodded at her body. It almost felt like it wasn’t really hers- like everything happening to her was just part of an elaborate dream. 

Even without taking into account the misshapen places on her body, the body itself barely resembled her old one. Her limbs were longer, and overall she was just _bigger._ Her ‘normal’ eye, while pretty, looked nothing like her old mischievous black orbs. Honestly, when Alice looked at herself, or even moved and stumbled because she wasn’t used to her legs being so long, she couldn’t help but feel confused.

She had seen the Other Creations. Almost all of them were flawed, like her, but they all at least resembled themselves in a way that Alice did not. Especially the Borises. They looked exactly the same as back _home_ , minus the various defects that they had of course

Alice hated them.

How nice must it be, to feel at home in your own body?

To look in the mirror, and see something familiar?

For Alice, her gender was the same and her general ‘description’ was the same- but everything else was somehow _wrong._ Alice Angel had black hair, devil horns, a halo, a beauty mark, and a strapless black dress with a bow around her waist. Currently, Alice fit this description to a tee- but she was drawn like a different character.

Maybe that was why Bendy left her.

Alice sighed as she re-bandaged her broken nose. Through her blurring eyes, she had tried to move the broken bones back into their proper places. She still wasn’t sure if she’d succeeded though, because the swelling had yet to come down.

Both sides of her face were dark with bruises, but Alice was past the point of caring. What was one more thing after all?

She might hate looking at herself, and sometimes she might wake up with scratches that she had subconsciously clawed into her skin, but overall, Alice was slowly adjusting to this Hell. 

This was her life now. She had to accept it, and then find a place in it- or she would wind up dead. 

This wasn’t the first time that she had been thrown into a foreign place, though it was the first time that she was sent against her will.

_All my life, I just wanted someone to be mine._

_I just didn’t want to feel so_ **_alone_ ** _all the time._

Now she was as alone in Hell as she had been in Heaven. 

When she was an angel, Alice had been blessed with the holy love of her brothers and sisters. But no matter how lovely and kind her siblings were, no matter how patient and understanding… their ‘love’ always left her feeling empty. 

As the centuries passed, Alice couldn’t help but feel lonely. She couldn’t help but long for someone to truly be _hers_. She dared to have selfish desires. 

And so when the creators whispered promises of love and lifelong companionship- when they blessed her with the ability to meet a demon in her dreams and feel his hugs on cold nights… 

Alice’s heart was stolen.

It was only after Heaven declared her heart to no longer be pure, that Alice discovered just how conditional and easily swayed her family’s ‘love’ was. Once Alice was declared to have Fallen from Grace, she was no longer considered family. Or even something worthy of their contempt.

Her so called brothers and sisters held her down and ripped her wings from her back, only hours after they told her how much they cherished her. 

The pain that she went through was mind shattering. She felt every inch of her wings as they were slowly peeled away from her. Muscle from muscle, and then tendon from bone…

What was even worse, was that while she felt this, she had to look up at the ones who had claimed to love her and beg for them to stop. Bound and helpless, Alice pleaded for mercy- and was denied even the comfort of seeing the people she had grown up with look at her with emotion in their hearts. Their expressionless faces and apathetic eyes still haunted her nightmares.

Alice fell from heaven. 

But in the end- she had Fallen willingly. She had Fallen so that she could have a chance to be with the one who was promised to her. The one whose smile haunted her dreams, whose voice whispered that he would make her happy.

But that didn’t make the pain of her Fall any less real. Alice fell, and then the creators dolled her up, healed her wounds, and took her to a club where **he** was waiting for her. 

Where the start of her new life was waiting for her.

And for the next few years, everything was perfect. 

_But I didn’t ask for this._

Alice was torn from her personal paradise without warning, and woke up to Joey’s cringing face while her entire body burned with pain because _this wasn’t right her soul wasn’t meant to reside in this body-_ and because of this it had corrupted the body until it could barely function let alone survive. 

This time, Alice didn’t have a smiling demon to cushion her fall from paradise. 

_All I ever wanted was you._

So now what was Alice to do? She had nothing to look forward to, nothing to strive for or gain. After the **Incident** with the Ink Demon, she had wandered through the studio in a desperate search for an exit- just to breathe. To breathe in air that wasn’t tainted with the scent of ink and decay. 

She wanted to taste the air under the sky, and remember that the world had colors other than black and dying. 

But there was no exit, no escape from the Ink choking her with every breath. She was trapped in the stench of desperation and the howl of lost souls begging for release from their torment. 

She was only one of many- lost, broken, and searching for a purpose.

But what made Alice almost give into despair, was the realization that even among the other creations in this Hell, she was ostracized. The Ink People cringed away from her and called her a Devil, while the Ink Clones outright attacked her. 

Even now, she could hear the wolves howling outside the room she had barricaded herself in. She could hear them stalking through the halls, panting as they tried to sniff her out. Alice’s whole body shuddered, her skin prickling with the memory of their forceful touches even as she kept glancing over her shoulder in fear that they would find her and break down the door.

They were waiting for her. There was no escape. And as Alice sobbed black tears into her hands, she curled into herself in a desperate attempt at self-comfort. Because no one was coming to save her. 

_“Stop it- STOP IT!”_

_Alice screamed at the feeling of their claws around her ankles as one Boris tore into her thigh with it’s misshapen maw._

_It’s teeth were jagged and caused the puddle of ink she was lying in to grow bigger as more and_ **_more_ ** _of those abominations crowded around her- their claws slashing through the fabric of her dress to reach the skin underneath. One of them was pulling her hair so it could force her to bare her throat._

_“BENDY!”_

_He wasn’t there. Alice knew that he wasn’t there and that he wouldn’t come no matter how loud she screamed, but as the tears fell down her cheeks, Alice couldn’t stop herself from screaming his name. It was an instinct that had been branded into her soul- the instinct to call out to the one she knew would protect her, would help her._

_To call out to the person she loved the most. She trusted the most._

_The wolf by her head was getting impatient. It ripped out clumps of her hair as it tried to hold her head still and reached to dig into the side of her neck for chunks of her flesh. She could hear them chewing and slurping the ink that poured from her torn skin. She could feel their barbed tongues licking her gaping wounds, and sometimes flicking under her skin to catch more ink. Their claws eagerly burrowed into her to take more and_ **_more-_ **

**_“BENDY SAVE ME! PLEASE! Please help me!”_ **

**_“Bend-”_ **

_Alice’s scream cut off into a gurgle when an annoyed Boris hit her across the face and then leaned over to grip her throat with it’s malformed hand. Alice stared up at the ceiling as the sounds around her seemed to become louder and louder. She pretended that she couldn’t feel anything. That she couldn’t smell their disgusting breath or feel their fur against every inch of her skin. She tried to detach herself from her body, and desperately thought to herself that this wasn’t happening._

_That this body wasn’t being violated like this- that she would wake up and that all of this would be some sick dream…_ _Boris would never do this to her. He was her friend, they were friends. She trusted him-_

 _Her arms were pinned to the floor by their hands around her wrists, and her legs were forced wide open so that more of them could squeeze between them to have access to her flesh and_ **eat her.**

_**Bendy wasn’t coming.** _

**No one was coming.**

_Alice’s pupils dilated until they were empty pools of_ **_darkness._ ** _The hand around her throat loosened when the wolf moved to bite into her breast, and she took that moment to open her mouth to scream one last time. When she did, it was with the foul taste of their fur on her tongue and the burning pain of screaming through the liquid in her mouth._

_Her scream was so loud and high pitched, that it shattered the windows in the nearby doors, and caused the pack of wolves around her to howl in anguish at the feeling of their eardrums bursting._

_They cowered back, and before they could recover, Alice forced her trembling hands to prop up her body, and used her twisted ankles to help push herself backwards. Her eyes never left their faces as she continued to scream. She ignored the pain, the burn in her throat and how her vision was beginning to blur around the edges._

_The second she took to draw in a breath made her heart feel like it was about to rocket out of her chest. She kept pathetically pushing herself away from them as she used the only ability left to her as a weapon. After every desperate inhale, Alice continued to scream until the vessels around her vocal cords burst._

_But by then, the wolves had run away._

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the image, it belongs to it’s original creator.
> 
> Hello Everyone.
> 
> Wow, okay, where to start... I know that this Part of Alice's story won't exactly be everyone's cup of tea, but I will admit that this part has always been on my mind. In the Game, it's extremely obvious that Alice has a deep hatred of the Boris creatures, and on the first level, there is even evidence of her torturing one of them. 
> 
> I couldn't help but wonder what made her hate them so much. And well... wolves are pack animals, and if they had no memory and reverted back to their animal instincts- I couldn't help but picture something like this happening to her. 
> 
> Alice's story is not a happy one. There are many events that twisted her into the person we see in game, and I want to explore each and every one. Because she deserves to have her side of the story told. Alice wasn't always a monster. She was corrupted into one. 
> 
> I hope that everyone is staying safe out there in this crazy world, and finding some happiness in these dark times.
> 
> I can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts, and I hope that I'll be lucky enough to hear from you when I post the next Part too.


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